Tuesday, April 25, 2006

i am tremendously uninspired yet i feel the need to post something in that i have a sinking sensation that lately i have spent too much time dawdling


'elsewhere' wouldn't fit in my blog post title there. i guess there's a limit. s'pose this was the first time i'd pushed the title length limit here. always pushing the limits. to the limit. to the maxxx. extreeeeeeeeeeeeme!

i took this random IQ test i found on someone's theirspace page and it turns out i have an IQ of 135. yay! i guess. so this means i'm smart, right? i am so smart, i am so smart! i mean, uhh, if the entirnit says so.... yea, it says my verbal, math and general intelligence are at genius level (what what!), and that my logical intelligence is below average. below average?!?!? what the fuck? that doesn't seem logical to me. ah, but there you are. there. that's where you are: there. makes sense. or don't it? shit. i guess i do struggle with logic.

i'm just pissed because they don't give you the answers. which motherfucking other statement must be true dammit?!?!?!?!??!

and yet the picture there with the results is quite soothing. it gives me a peaceful sensation, as if a cloud really were floating in my head. i enjoy revelling in this mindset. a smile of most extreme contentment, eyes placidly amused.

so you know what's pretty funny sometimes is craigslist rants & raves. i mean, sometimes. i mean, only those times when i'm really brutally bored and feel the need to look at obtuse and pointless observations that are neither rants nor raves, really, just sort of strange statements of displeasure or silliness or horniness or racism or stupidity. and the other day i was really fucking bored. i totally was. and i said so. i ranted about it. i said, "i'm fucking bored." because i totally was.

so i post this and a few minutes later i get an email from someone, a girl named Eva, and she's all, "ha ha, that kills me. boredom sucks, eh?" and so i reply back, "yeah, it certainly does suck. what also sucks is that i can't leave the office and i can't drink beer. yet." she replies back about, "well, as Scarlet said, tomorrow is another (fucking) day." (Scarlet? like, Scarlett O'hara? oh, right. anyway...) and so i go, "it certainly (fucking) is." these short statements, just bored emailing to some stranger about nothing. she replies, "yeap." back and forth, just like that over, like, twenty minutes.

so, needlessly yet boredfully wanting to carry this on, i'm like, "hey, let's keep replying back and forth like this for no reason because hey, why not?" silly, smarmy provocation, but fun. and she goes, "well, i'm with someone, so it may not be a good idea." like that. and i'm all, uhhhhh, huh? like, uhhhhh, like my whole ploy here was to try to get a date with her, that posting to rants & raves was a circuitous effort to meet chicks. that our connection in our email replies was so immediate and intense that it was pretty clear that i was bound to want to go out with this girl. which, hey, maybe i did want to go out with this girl. but that's not the point!

so anyway, i replied, "ah yes. it may not be a good idea indeed." actually with the italics, and now actively trying to get a date with her at this point. okay, not really. really just being brattish. brutish? bratty? yeah, that. well, she didn't reply, shockingly. and dismay filled my heart and ran through all my emotional centers.

shit, maybe i should put this rant up on rants and raves. sheeeeeeeeiiiiittttttttt. but that's my point here, i think. it's that there's this place for all the misplaced anger and boredom and weirdnesses that people keep bottled up but need to express somehow -- even if it's a kinda half-assy way of saying something but it's something anyway -- and so they go to this forum where all they are really trying to do is provoke a response. shit, all i was trying to do was provoke a response. and while the response i got was mildly entertaining -- enough to break my boredom, at leastly -- it wasn't anything like a satisfying personal interaction. or was it? i guess it was. i'm sure she's a person, just living however she is. and yet i have no idea who she is.

i guess reaching out to some strange person who posted on rants & raves isn't something someone does every day or anything, so that's nice that she at least gave props to me for that. and maybe because i don't post shit there that often, i'm unable to gauge the seriousness or non-seriousness of one of these random email encounters. or whatevers.

but my question to you is, does a completely random email exchange automatically count as a come-on? a flirtation? i mean, sure, it can. but this is the first time where something so distant and -- to me -- frivolous, all of a sudden was like, whoa. how did we get here? and so soon. then again, if a guy had replied, would i have carried it onward in the same way? perhaps not uncertainly no. geez, maybe it did affect my emotional centers after all.

and anyway, what the hell is the deal with that place?

the only other time i've posted there, awhile ago i posted a rave about girls who wear boots with dresses. that i really dig that look. but not with ugg boots, nope. should be cowboy boots or boots like that, and those swishy summer skirts. rave! but no email interactions came out of that one. alas.

also been ravin' 'bout Tom Waits' Bone Machine. how come nobody told me this album is some badical-ass songsmanshit? thanks, nobody. but seriousness, seriousness:

There was thunder
There was lightning
Then the stars went out
And the moon fell from the sky
It rained mackerel
It rained trout
And the great day of wrath has come
And here's mud in your big red eye
The poker's in the fire
And the locusts take the sky
And the earth died screaming
While I lay dreaming ... of you

and that's song number one. there's much such chewy goodness in there throughout. endorsed heartily!

lastaciously, i'd like to mention how the other night some friends came up with and started throwing around this new phrase. i'm hopeful and fairly certain that we'll use this in continuance. we should anyway. it's certainly got a nice ring and an apt potency to it. here it is...

namaste, bitches.


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