Friday, June 23, 2006

always arriving

holy shit this is seriously happening. i am seriously leaving my job. tomorrow is seriously my last day at work. i have (seriously) been as busy as Biz Markie, takin' care of bizness -- moving out, putting my shit in storage, giving other shit away, preparing for travels, wandering aimlessly, homelessly, happily through town and sleeping in the spare rooms or on the sofas of the kindest, bestest friends you could ever imagine ever existing, and meanwhile working toward not working at my job ever again. been good times, heady times. times i haven't even had time to realize or wrestle down into an easy happy nervous anxiety. it's yet to be a reality that i really get... it's just been happening, happening all around me and happening fast. well, there is also a sort of schizoid energy -- "okay, what next?!?!?" -- and I'm drinking a lot more coffee (and loving it!!!!) than ever before. but through it all, there's a giant bright neon purple light flashing inside my mind saying ENJOY IT ALL, and so i've been doing that too.

but today i felt my first true sadness. my last night of work. i leave during daylight tomorrow -- and so it was strange this eve. the cleaning out of the desk, the collecting of my things for the nightly departure that i won't ever make again. just a whoa moment, a whoament. there is so much there, much memories and knowledge -- a part of myself, a great group of people i care about, a time that was. and there it was. and there it'll always be.


so i'm going to be setting up a travel blog (any site recommendiations, yo?) -- i'm looking for a place that'll be a little less bloggery than the function. i've heard of spotty blogspot issues abroad -- and i won't mention the random annoyances i've even found here on the homefront. so anyway, i'll set that up once i get around to it, and probably let the unguent simmer in its own salve-ation for a time.

so yeah. i haven't been on the internet a great deal recently -- i've actually been dorking out and trying to set up my iPod with the ideal music collection for my time away from my digitized musicalibrary (and oink). like, do I need more Van Morrison, or do I need less? I will wonder and ponder and picture. it is easy to get caught up, believe you me yes yes do. but that means no funny silly shit here. at this time. at this juncture. or much more many junctures mostly. mostly making a move away from it. for a bit. believe it.

can't say how it will be, but all i know is this next thing -- this trek off over to the southeast of the Asian landmass -- will be different. who can say how it'll all tie itself together -- is thissahere blog just a part of this one life chapter that is now coming to a close? or does it lead on into the next chapter, and will it re-emerge as a central clue to the riddle contained therein? is it a part of an entire sub-section? is it a part of the whole, a narrative necessity?

who can say? who cares? let's get naked! wootie woo!

but hey! hey, you! yeah, hey, first i did quickly want to mention that the bellacious Bella over at Bella Rossa dropped some virtual interviewation in my inbox, and i surely surely responded in kind. it was good fun, and i only half-regret half of my half-ass answers. but it was a very nice exchange, so mad props and many thanks to her.

and thanks and hi for stopping by. hope you're drunker than i am when you read this.

i've posted this quote before, but i like it:
And this? This is like my little window to the world, and every minute, it's a different show. Now, I may not understand it. I may not even necessarily agree with it. But I'll tell you what, I accept it and just sort of glide along. You want to keep things on an even keel I guess is what I'm saying. You want to go with the flow. The sea refuses no river. The idea is to remain in a state of constant departure while always arriving. Saves on introductions and good-byes. The ride does not require an explanation. Just occupants.
- Waking Life

ah, here's another one:
For my part, I travel not to go anywhere, but to go. I travel for travel's sake. The great affair is to move.
- Robert Louis Stevenson

and then there's the master:
From this hour I ordain myself loos'd of limits and imaginary lines,
Going where I list, my own master total and absolute,
listening to others, considering well what they say,
pausing, searching, receiving, contemplating,
Gently, but with undeniable will
divesting myself of the holds that would hold me.

- Walt Whitman, "Song of the Open Road"

Whitman is the badass-estiest! i'd actually like to scrounge around and find some more quotes, but my books are all packed up in storage and these are just the ones i really super remember liking and wanted to put up here in some way to express the thought i'm feeling here somehow, as said by them folks who knew how to say some shit.

seriously, I need to bring Leaves of Grass and read it. don't let me forget.


Wednesday, June 7, 2006

world cup predilections

real quick, because i'm busy as fuck moving out and dealing with all this schhhhhhhhtuff, i wanted to at least get my World Cup predictions out here in the sphere o' blog. so, sphere, here:

Group A
winner: Germany
runner-up: Poland
no duh Germany's going to win this group. no duh Poland will finish second. of course, this won't happen.

Group B
winner: Sweden
runner-up: England
i think literally everyone on planet Earth is picking England to win this group, and maybe they'll all be right. in fact, i guarantee it! ... that maybe they'll all be right. mahahaha! Zlatan Ibrahimovic (what kind of Swedish name is that?) is sick -- when he wants to be. if he brings his A game, he's a difference maker. wait, what am i, a sportswriter? no, i'm not.

Group C
winner: Cote D'Ivoire
runner-up: Argentina
yeah, a mini-upset in this, the Tango De La Muerte (which translates as the Group of Death, doy.) i think the Africans pull an upset in their first match with Argentina, and then the Argentines have to scramble back to secure 2nd. every Cup there's a team from Africa that comes out of "nowhere" to kick ass. remember Senegal? plus, any country that puts their civil war that has been raging for four years on hold for the World Cup, well, they're alright with me.

Group D
winner: Portugal
runner-up: Mexico
ahh, the old Simpsons joke about international soccer... "this match will determine which country is the greatest country on Earth... Mexico! or Portugal!" hahahahhhehhahahahahahahhehahhahhaaa! yes, we all know they are NOT the greatest countries on Earth, so it's funny. oh yeah, good times. seriously though, Portugal is good. and Scolari, who coached Brazil to the title in the last World Cup, is their coach. I know, Portugal? seriously? on a side note, Luis Figo is a monkeyhumper. okay, not really. this is what he really humps. but he's still a bitchface.

Group E
winner: Italy
runner-up: Czech Republic
hello, world? hi, it's us, the U.S. soccer team. hi. yeah, we're playing some great soccer, the best in our history. we have some good experience, play with a lot of energy, and we're planning on sticking around this Cup for awhile this ti - oh. damn! damn damn damn! well, it's been real. see ya in South Africa.

Group F
winner: Brazil
runner-up: Australia
if Brazil doesn't win this group, street crime will become an ugly reality in the streets of Sao Paolo. oh, what? okay, let's try this one: if Brazil doesn't win this group, some referees are going to die. murdered. possibly cruelly and heinously. specifically those referees that were bribed and prevented Brazil from winning their matches. hey, also, it's funny that the Aussies are known as the Socceroos. how retarded is that? very. which means they'll move on.

Group G
winner: Switzerland
runner-up: France
i really want to pick South Korea here. so why don't i? i don't know. shut up and stop asking so many questions. in that order.

Group H
winner: Spain
runner-up: Tunisia
Spain sucks balls, but they're better than the rest of the suckballs in this group. i don't know much about Tunisia, except that it looks a lot like Tatooine and Judea, ca. 30 A.D., and that i used to be friends with a couple Tunisians named Nabil and Wassim who were two of the nicest people I've ever met. so, i guess i'm hoping Tunisia does well so those guys will be happy.

Round of 16
England (over Germany)
Sweden (over Poland)
Cote D'Ivoire (over Mexico)
Argentina (over Portugal)
Italy (over Australia)
Brazil (over Czech Republic)
Switzerland (over Tunisia)
France (over Spain)

Round of 8
Argentina (over Sweden)
England (over Cote D'Ivoire)
Italy (over Switzerland)
Brazil (over France)

Argentina defeats Brazil
England defeats Italy

Argentina wins the World Cup
(and Brazil comes in third)

hey, it could happen.


Friday, June 2, 2006

another day without heartbreak

the drama that builds
two people cannot be said
to carry more meaning than
the ineffable sound of
a heart breaking.

a heart breaking
is the only thing to believe in
anymore -

the only thing to believe in
besides the sunrise.

and the days run away like dreams,
fading streams of memory that seem like
they never were.

as if they never were
what we dreamed they would be.

and i thought the thought i had
about this dream i dreamed
was the same as
it ever was

but it wasn't.

the world may be a dream
i dreamed
today, i thought -

a dream unremembered,
a sensation or sight that cannot
be described, a delirium
that is infinite -

or not.

but the thought i thought
that has changed today
is that

the world has no function

and there can be no end
to it ever.

i, after all, will never
know it
when it comes.

but when my end comes,
what will i believe
by then -

what will i believe
when all i know
is that today is another day
without heartbreak

and tonight another night
filled with dreams?