big post, lotta stuff, all over the place

here's a selection of some of the dastardliest daguerrotypiest druwings from married to the sea, the latest awesomest website around town. it's quite goodly, sirs and madamsels. yes, quite.

oh, and I want one of these, too.

(via.)

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Lisa: Ralph thinks I like him. But I only gave him a Valentine 'cause I felt sorry for him.
Homer: Ah, sweet pity: where would my love life have been without it?
Lisa: What do you say to a boy to let him know you're not interested?
Marge: Well, honey-
Homer: Let me handle this, Marge. I've heard 'em all. (counting them off): "I like you as a friend," "I think we should see other people," "I no speak English," "I'm married to the sea," "I don't want to kill you, but I will..."

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this Village Voice review of Ghostface's new album aggravated me for some reason. aggro-vated! just the way it's written. it bugs! check out the lead graph:

Five years ago it was clear that Ghostface Killah was going to be the last Wu-Tang Clansman standing. Career-wise, not literally, Russell Jones Dirt McGirt R.I.P. Chalk it up to Big Ghost's Everyman appeal—to the fact that he's now made five solo albums that the people enjoy and not one movie directed by Jim Jarmusch or about getting high at Harvard. I love Jarmusch, RZA, and GZA and think Meth is the tightest cameo artist in hiphop history—just don't try and sell me one of his own albums. And somehow we just know there are no Lee Iacocca or Charlie Rose appearances in Ghost's future, no Beyoncés either, and that's all fine by us. Us being the ones who actually listen to hiphop to satisfy the basest of urges, the artform's smooth and savage concoction of stupid beats, surreal rhymes, and that je ne sais quoi we know as unrepentant, unreconstructed, around-the-way negritude.

that's right. "that je ne sais quoi we know as unrepentant, unreconstructed, around-the-way negritude." uhhh, what? from the first sentence -- was it really clear? is it even true? -- from the R.I.P to O.D.B. to all the strange references to Wu-Tang's other cultural endeavors to that turn of phrase at the end, it just seemed that the guy, Greg Tate, knows what he's talking about but was really trying to sound deep and cool at the same time. and not.

and then:

Lookahere brothermansisterlady, I don't know how it is between you and Ghost but I'm enough of a closet Marxist to get turned on by the idea of a blood who in another era would be carting a lunchpail to the plant being a monster poet up in this suddenly glitzaramic hiphop sheet.

yeah, Tate doesn't know how it is between us and Ghost, even though he's the reviewer, so why should he care? ... said my high school journalism teacher. yeah, he's a enough of a closet Marxist to not have the completion of the sentence make sense why he needed to tell us so. and yeah, he referred to Ghostface as "a blood". who knows, maybe Ghostface Killah is a blood. but, really now. I just thought: that's funny. he called him blood.

Tate carries on, talking about all sorts of things, none of which really have any relationship whatsoever to the album being reviewed, which is great, by the way -- how you would know from reading this review, though, I have no idea. the funny thing about the article is that I do agree with his take -- that Ghostface is "Burroughs, Ellroy, and Bukowski rolled into one garrulous gregarious grungy gruesome ghettofied writer." that he's "a one-man Wu reunion out his own mouth." ohh, word? word.

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this exquisite dead guy has noticed something awesome going on at the Amazon page for that Harvard novelist/plagiarist girl. Amazon customers have been tagging the book with all sorts of great and crazy tags, like:

liar
fraud
should be kicked out of harvard
lil miss plagiarist
slap in the face to legitimate authors

and, the awesomest:

could this be the moment at last when publishers stop buying books from boring Harvard prodigies and start buying zombie books

rad. just rad. when will the zombie books start showing up on Oprah, I think, is the real question here.

now if someone could just explain what tags are to me, that'd be great thanks.

send more paramedics is a funn blogg, anyhoo, too.

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these re-enactments of famous movie scenes by Brandon Hardesty are fricking dynamite. my favorite is probably the Princess Bride one -- his Vizzini is spot-on -- but his Candy/Martin from Planes, Trains, Automobiles is pretty great, as well. shit, they're all great. more great shit from the land of the internet.

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a couple days afterwards, Matt Gonzalez taught me what the deal is with Cinco de Mayo.

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both these next are via the nonist, who has a smart new design and always keeps my head smart.

only 21 finalists remain in the final stretch of the public's selection of the new seven wonders of the world. you know, because the seven ancient wonders of the world aren't around anymore, except for the Pyramids. so it's time for some new wonders, dammit! hells yeah!!!! so here's where my seven votes'd go:

1. Pyramids
   
2. Taj Mahal
3. Stonehenge
4. Aya Sofia
5. Angkor Wat
6. Machu Picchu
7. Great Wall of China
   

I've been to one of those!

and this is the most interesting news story i've read in a long while: an alert unlike any other. a group of linguists, anthropologists and scientists are all working on this project to determine some way to communicate with people in the far distant future, to try to warn them about the deadly radioactive sludge we're burying deep underground in New Mexico. what a really extraordinarily great job.

i'm not even being facetious when i say i'm glad that our American tax dollars are going toward something like this. this seems rather noble and intelligent for us, for a change.

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good music I've been listening to the past couple days: Friends of Dean Martinez, Pavement, '98 Phish, Beethoven and this song by Rilo Kiley.

good blogs I've found the past couple days: laura the tooth, basketbawful, sophisto, gentrified rice, and you can't get arrested for being awesome.

good ideas I've had the past couple days: to eat more cucumber in salads, do more push-ups, carry a pen, check email less often.

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mirrors are people aquariums,
the sofa lies.
today is tomorrow
in disguise.

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down with disease

i've been sick as a lil bitch for the past few days. it's horrendous being sick like this, mainly because there's not a whole heckuva lot you can do about it. sure, there's tons o' medicinals out there, but a lot of those pharmas are built for their own particular brand of sick, so they reinfect you a little bit with their own disease and you end up getting, y'know, their sick on top of your sick. before the whole thing gets cured up. and there are the homeopathic medicines, of which i'm a fan, but they're kind of pointless and wussy when confronted with a serious illness such as the one with which my body has just been intimately acquainted. then there's the preventative, mineral types of cures -- the airbornes, echinacheas, zincs, immunity smoothie boosts, vitamin cs and so forth -- that work great when you're just on the brink of being sick, but who fail miserably if you wait just one day too long. as, apparently, I did -- because I just 'bout drowned myself in all that shit for two straight days back there, and to no avail.

the bummer at this point is that having pursued one course of treatment -- oscillococcinum (which I just found out has been shown to kinda, maybe reduce the flu by six whole hours) and cough drops and soup and advils and lots of vitamin c and zinc and wellness tea with honey -- it's too late to switch over to another way. like, jump over and take a bunch of the sudafeddy stuff. i did actually take a couple nighttime sudafeds a couple days back -- the night i was up coughing all night. you'd think the sleep-aid in there would have knocked me out through all that hacking, but nope. instead, it just made me superfuckingtiredanddelirious while i was up all night. at one point, i was standing in my bedroom, with my hands and knees, out of fucking breath from coughing so much. at 4:00 a.m., on sedatives. good times.

i guess it's all about finding the cure that works for you -- next time, maybe not oscillococcinum so much. but really, most times the body is pretty badass at taking care of itself. if something is going to fuck you up for a few days, it's going to fuck you up for a few days. you can bombard yourself with all sorts of drugs and herbs and teas and everything, and you're still going to go down for a few. you might feel better, like, six hours sooner than you would have anyway. but the only real cure is that age-old and annoying one: sleep and time.

and, uh, video games and web-browsing? yeah, the boredom is pretty brutal, as well.

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si se puede

it was a big deal with all these protests today, a whole lotta brain noodlies and politicomplexities within this whole immigratin' thing. nice to see lots of folks just saying, "ahhh, fuck off", to work though. needs to happen more often around here. I mean, you won't never see the U.S. of Ahh shut her business down for the World Cup, or for any national pride issue really ever -- yet you know there will be peoples all around on this earth in a couple months that will not be at their desk job on some days, like, at all. and none of their countrymen will be either.

but that's not what I want to talk about. what I want to talk about is: did you see this poster?

i find this highly engaging and amusing and bemusing and interesting. first: what, you have to co-opt the famed Apple ad style in order to resonate these days? if you're indymedia, I thought you're supposed to be all No Logo on that tip, ain'tcha? guess it's not okay to just have a message and a groundswell of mass action. but then the usage is pretty, y'know, heh heh, clever: "iMigrate". immigrate/I migrate. but with the capitalization funny. haha! that's great. immi-great. yeah.

and then: what the heck is going on in that picture? looks like someone jumping over a barbed wire fence with wire cutters slung through their beltloop. right? so why the hell aren't they using the wire cutters to cut through the fence?!?!?!!??!?! I mean, on top of that, they're not actually jumping over the fence -- they're failing miserably. they're giving a miserable effort -- I mean, look, it's not even close.

now, don't get me wrong. one could read into the metaphorical imagery here. there are wire cutters available to a possible migrant ("a green card"), but who wants to deal with the hassle of trying to cut through fence after fence after fence ("the citizenship process"). so, the fence is there, and they are caught in the barbed wire, symbolically looking back with an expression of being trapped. or stuck, in-between their homeland and here.

okay, one could read into it in this way -- but why go to such symbolic depths for a poster that is just really meant to rally support to the streets? won't people look at it and wonder where they can get their very own iWireCutters? or just want to know what the deal is and why they should care? which, I think, most middle class (white) Americans are kind of doing right now. they just don't know the proper, judicious attitude about this inflammatory subject. they want to do what's right, but they like getting their house cleaned. and barbed wire scares them.

so I think it's great that this is becoming a national issue, even if it is dicey and complex. dicey and complicated things should be made into a national issue more often -- everything isn't cut and dry and five minutes later okay to move on from. so it's great that people are having to look at it and discuss it. because it's been the shadow fact of life for so long that now people are having to address this societal structure, and are being confronted with real questions about goodness and humanity and equality. not that I really believe this idiotic legislation will be enacted, or if it somehow is, that it will be obeyed or even remotely possible to enforce. not that real change will come, not with the way the American -- and world -- economy works right now.

but hey, at least there is some acknowledgement. at least voices are being heard. I don't know if this is a civil rights issue -- I don't know if anyone knows if it is. but it could be. and anyway, I'm thinking that there are just a whole lot of people in this country, all different types, and we're all tied together in this enormous kettle -- or pot, if you will. it's as if everyone has all melted together, and here we are. I know it sounds strange, but stick with me. yeah, it's as if we all live together in this giant melting pot -- every ethnicity and class -- and we all struggle to get by, some struggling more than others, others still finding their place in the recipe. but the giant stew is constantly brewing, with sometimes some sweet flavors and sometimes some foul stench. but I guess the real question is: what do we have to do to make the stew most tasty? and: will the pot boil over before we get there?

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